Stories from a month of travel

July 23, 2011

The last four weeks were mostly plane, hotel, plane golf, plane ...... California, Montreal, Michigan, Japan, NY, NC ........

My trip to Montreal was a great culinary adventure as always. The long wait in customs made US immigration look good by comparison.  The traffic around Montreal indicated that our neighbors to the north could use some stimulus spending of their own on their roads and bridges. Leaving Canada was a testimony to needless bureaucracy. For some reason, four people at different positions checked boarding passes before we got to the gates.  All the quality of life talk we hear from our Canadian friends seemed questionable after two days up North. Perhaps I am generalizing from a small sample..... then again, maybe not.

A long term colleague in Japan who had a great opportunity to take a position with a young growing company decided to move on. I spent nine days traveling in Japan as part of  a "sayonara tour" to help him say a proper goodbye to customers. In the US, a change of job every few years is expected. In Japan, the departure of a long time employee generates questions that demand a reasonable explanation and reassurance that the relationship between the companies will remain stable. In this case, I tried to serve as a stabilizer since I have known some of our customers in Japan longer than my Japanese cohort. My friend's departure will generate more travel to Japan for me in the short term and also prompted many comments from our Japanese customers that my leaving Asia was "not a good idea".

Having a knowledgeable, trusted co-worker in Japan is a great asset that I will miss. To some extent I took all his hard work for granted - he made so many arrangements and handled so many details that an administrative assistant cannot handle as easily. On the other hand, life without a local "handler" is good challenge that will stretch me in ways I haven't been stretched in a several years.

The explanation of my friend's departure was not as difficult as the 9 days and nights of large lunches, long dinners and late nights fueled by beer, sake, mizuwari and countless stories of the past 16 years of business dealings. Saying goodbye can be hard work even when you are the one that is staying behind. Two days of golf in the intense Tokyo heat on the weekend only exacerbated the dehydrating effect of nights with too little sleep and too much of everything else.

I slept for 9 hours on the flight back to the US to prepare myself for a family wedding that took place less than 24 hours after I landed. Sometimes I marvel at how different life can seem just a couple of days apart. On Wednesday night I was in the Ginza area of Tokyo surrounded by a sea of salarymen with nary a face similar to mine in sight - 48 hours later I was in the Finger Lakes area of NY in a small church attending a wedding - I blended in perfectly with those in attendance. I felt at home in both places. Places that could not have been more different.

After the wedding, my wife and I spent a couple of nights in my hometown to attend a gathering on my side of the family. We could only stay two days because I had to be back in North Carolina to greet customers from Japan and the 4 person crew sent from Japanese TV (NHK) that is shadowing one of my customers for a few weeks for an episode of a NHK show called "The Professionals". It was a little odd explaining the 4 person camera crew filming golf and dinner but people always seems to want to cooperate when a TV show is involved. It was so hot while we were playing golf that the cameraman and sound person put on head "dress" that made them look like Al Qaeda - I thought maybe the police would be called to check out the "terrorists on the golf course". Fortunately we finished 18 holes without a visit from the local SWAT team.

Last week I spent an entire week in my North Carolina office with no guests or travel. I enjoyed the quiet - for about 3 days. I will be back in Japan in two weeks.

 A lot has changed in less than two years - my colleague in Japan moved to a new company and, a year later, I moved on too. We remain friends, see each other often, and hope for the opportunity to work together in the future.

Life goes on - change is constant but the relationships that matter endure

Postscript:

The Japanese TV show I mention in the post  was filmed in China, Tokyo and North Carolina. The hour show gave another friend, who was the featured "Professional" more than his "15 minutes of fame". After the show aired, I had the chance to see people notice him in train stations and on the streets in Tokyo and Osaka. Viewers sent food and snacks to his office to help him maintain his "figure". My cameo in the show as the "bad gaijin" got me noticed on the street a few times but only when I was standing next to the main character.

Perspective: Melting Pot or Salad Bowl?

This week my wife and I flew to California to attend a grease industry convention near Palm Springs. Boring business perhaps but good people. The company I work for sells a raw material used in the grease making process. Not our most interesting market but, for me, almost a "living time capsule". The last time I attended this convention was 1999.

I did not expect to see so many familiar faces (plus 12 years of aging, of course). The numbers attending the event were up compared to the last time which was a surprise for a low tech business in a down economy. In the past, this event was dominated by American attendees. Americans are still the majority but there were many more Asian attendees this time. The Japanese have come for years but now there were representatives from several other countries. Mostly they were young, coming to learn something or deliver a technical paper.

A few things struck me. The event was much less formal than last time  - I wore khakis and golf shirts to some sessions and still felt over dressed. In 1999 suits were, for the most part, the dress of the day. In a similar fashion, behavior is also less formal with a continuing trend in American towards declining "social graces". When the "grease guys" go casual, you know it is a trend.

Although attendees from Asia are up there seemed to be very limited cultural interaction. Asians off in a corner together during cocktail hours or breaks. Perhaps not unusual, particularly with a largely technical group but sad to see missed opportunities. Most technologists from Asia will get few chances to visit America and to meet and speak with non expat Americans.

While, in general, it seems Americans are more open and less insular than many cultures - it was hard to tell by observing interaction at this event. Americans, at least those of a certain age, were taught that America was the "great melting pot". My Japanese teacher corrected that notion for me referring to America as the great "salad bowl". The obvious inference being that cultures were thrown together like as tossed salad rather than becoming the single entity that melting implies. I will leave the proper reference to cultural experts but I think my sensei had a valid point.

I felt strangely comfortable at this event - like putting on a pair of perfectly broken-in shoes. Nice to see old acquaintances and talk about now grown children, business, sports or any other common ground. Very natural. On the other hand, I felt a bit out of place and "different". I felt a need to speak with the Asians using Japanese, Chinese or the very limited Thai I know. The reaction was almost universally the same - people (the Asians and Americans nearby) looked at me as if I was from Mars. If I speak Japanese or Chinese to someone in their native country - they usually smile, speak back in English if they know it but if I continue in their language; they are usually happy to continue - in either language. At this event, except for one Japanese guy; everyone seemed very confused that an American was using their language in his native country. Most smiled but seemed very ill at ease in how to react. We all seemed uncertain about the ground rules. This seemed very odd to me having had similar experiences one on one speaking Japanese or Chinese in cities from Oslo to Buenos Aires to Charlotte. I am not sure what was different this time except in prior cases I was usually helping someone who was lost or had some other need to interact with a "foreigner".

I have attended conferences and industry meeting all over Asia - China, Japan, Singapore, etc. There seems a common thread of dynamism - change, new technology, youth, etc. Of course, these conferences are normally in markets that are high tech and developing rapidly. The focus is usually on innovation and the "next big thing". Comparing these events with an American grease conference is "apples and oranges". On the other hand,  it does concern me that in my limited experience America seems to be in decline vs Asia on many levels. Americans develop the IPad and Asians make it. An American company still makes the profit but how long will that last????

Of course Asians still want to send their kids to our best colleges. Wealthy Chinese now join tours to the US for the express purpose of buying houses because, even in our expensive cities, houses are cheap by the standards of Shanghai and Beijing. Wait until the RMB appreciates....

I have told many Japanese and Chinese friends - it is easy for you to become an American but I can never become Japanese or Chinese.  The playing field isn't level and Americans are playing on the uphill side. Our government has no idea of how to foster economic growth despite spending trillions. What I saw this week in California was a concurrent look at the past and the future.

 Maybe I should wait 12 years to go back to this meeting.

Dog Days

So much is written about ex-pat life, culture shock, re-entry issues, third culture kids, etc. Little is written about the ex-pat dog. In the case of our dog, Yuki, we adopted her in China, so she didn't become an ex-pat until we returned to the US. Her ex-pat experience is still unfolding.

Yuki was born on the streets of Shanghai. She came to us as a confused puppy that had been taken in by a French lady who ran a shelter in the city. Each month the shelter had a dog adoption day at an Irish bar so Yuki (whose original name was Kaylex) had some multi cultural experiences before coming to our family as a 3 month old.

Yuki is a native Chinese speaker who still barks in English with a bit of the Mandarin tonal quality you would expect. She was very uneasy with our American household at first, not understanding why my daughter and I would sit in front a flat screen watching episode after episode of "30 Rock" and "24". She also marveled at some of the food we ate - she had never experienced "Cheez -Its" before.

 

Yuki had to adapt to American Life

 

Her seeming distain for the mindless hours we spent in front of the television did not go unnoticed. Over time she adapted to American programs but, wanting to keep her connected to her home culture, we made sure she watched CCTV at least 30 minutes each day and she never missed the CCTV New Year's Eve show.

Getting Yuki permission to leave China required about the same amount of paperwork as it would for any Chinese citizen - medical certificate, various adminsitrative approvals and verfication that the shot record chip implanted in her neck was still readable.

Yuki's trip to America was aboard a United 747. We spent two weeks before her departure day training her to eat treats and drink out of the beverage container in her airline approved dog carrier or as our driver Philip called it "Yuki's business class seat". After twenty hours enroute with a layover, customs clearance plus a "bio break" in Chicago,  Yuki arrived in North Carolina.

Since our house wasn't ready Yuki spent almost two months living in a hotel with us. She immediately took to her new home as the local area had plenty of squirrels and other small creatures that she hadn't experienced in China. A few days after arriving in the US she took her first long car ride as the family visited relatives for Thanksgiving. Yuki had never seen so many white people in one place but she enjoyed the festive atmosphere and the exotic leftovers. She wondered why her family didn't invite any Asian people to this party.

Yuki didn't get to see much wildlife in Shanghai

Initially the clean, clear air of North Carolina made Yuki feel strange. Her hair got thick and shiny. The food tasted better. Once she moved into her new home on a golf course she had new worlds to conquer - chasing deer, finding golf balls on her daily walks and barking at the neighbor dogs. She missed her friends in Shanghai. In her old neighborhood at 4PM each day the Ayi's (maids) walked the dogs. While the Ayi's talked or complained about the continual screw-ups of their foreign employers or plotted how to get higher salaries; the dogs played, fought and had their social hour. The biggest void in Yuki's new life was the lack of social time. There were no Ayi's walking the dogs in her new neighborhood. Yuki missed Philip and thought it was strange that her family drove themselves everywhere in the new country. Time passed, Yuki adjusted.

Yuki is hoping to signal more "TDs" for USC this season

Yuki feels "American" now. She has embraced the culture and enjoys watching sports on TV when she can't get outside to chase squirrels and deer. There are few things she still misses but she doesn't think about them very often. In the end, Yuki's ex-pat adjustment experience was not so different from the other members of her family.